The Manifestation Mistress Obsession is a great tool for manifestation. Obsession is focus that probably needs molding. I find obsession to be a beautiful feeling. When obsession is active, I love the way my mind simply just thinks in a uni-directional way; repeating that particular thought or feeling all the time. I easily obsess over songs. On the headphones, in the car, the first hum in the morning. Like many other paths of least resistance, I have found that obsessive thoughts can also help in experiencing the desire easily. I have been obsessed with body weight for a long time. And this is a short anecdote that I’d like to share.
The Story I Narrated About My Body
I weighed normal, according to a lot of people around me. And yet, what I thought about my weight or my body wasn’t really helpful. I will not begin to describe (justify) how I thought I looked and/or how people thought I looked. The key here is to realize it didn’t matter what my reality showed to others, rather how I looked at my reality. How I felt about my reality. And most importantly what I considered my reality. And what is reality anyway?
The only thing to notice is my confession, that I was not really happy with the way my body looked. Throughout 2015, I was a regular at the gym. I didn’t really have an external guide for nutrition and I didn’t really have an internal interest in educating myself about “Nutrition”. I was a foodie; I’d eat whatever I liked, whenever, however much. My weight and body shape wouldn’t change. I didn’t recognize that neither the gym nor the diet was doing anything for me in terms of how I wanted to look. My logical brain kept telling me if I gym enough I’d see some changes, but I’d also push back that my diet is okay and not really the healthy diets that I see online, recommending portions, calories, macro, micro, all that stuff. I wasn’t lazy to educate myself about such things, rather irritated that I cannot confine myself into these rules of diet, laws of exercising, and only then see any results.
The Discord in My Thoughts, Beliefs, and Approach
My main argument in my head was have these gym laws and food rules been tested specifically on my body? I was just not convinced that based on their data-oriented studies they could offer a blanket solution to all bodies. Every body is different. At the internal level, the inner functioning is so complex that to study and then offer a unique solution is just a tedious and impossible task. I couldn’t accept being thrown into a box full of generic labels and be treated as a standard math equation and hope that the rule applied. What I am trying to say is that I was just not ready to accept that if I go to the gym and do cardio for x mins and lift x pounds/kilos of weight, target xyz muscles, and if I do fall under the label of being x years old, weighing x pounds/kilos that the blanket-solution suggested would work on me the way it worked on another body that had similar composition.
I will tell you why I pushed back agains this norm. My sister and I come from the same biological parents. My sister happens to have faster metabolism, leaner body, and a banana shaped figure. I, on the other hand, have a pear shaped body and more of build than my sister. I failed to recognize that my metabolism was stable (see, where I tell you that I’d not change no matter what I ate or how much I exercised. That is a sign of stable metabolism, it is better than the one that fluctuates).
The Shift and The Shit
But one evening in April 2016, I told myself that by hook or crook, I now have to start looking differently. I was aware of Pinterest and so I made a board where I pinned faceless bodies of women that I wanted to look like. Something in me was sure that I will not diet or exercise or go through strenuous and irritating and not-so-feeling-good options of any kind. The world’s logical justification of fat-loss, weight-loss, exercising, gymming, etc, were all rather bothersome to me. I had so much resistance against exercising; I found it boring, uncomfortable, weakening as if whatever I did was not good enough. And so in April 2016, I told myself that in a month by the time it is my birthday, I will be 17 pounds lighter. Yes, I had this exact number in my head, just because I wanted to choose a number. I just wanted to be 120 lbs, “without any effort”. No logic, no reasoning, nothing behind the choice. And the conscious decision I had made was I will stop going to the gym and will only exercise “naturally” and in shapes and form that my mind enjoys. Like, I’d play badminton with a friend sometimes in the week, on a whim. I’d go on music walks whenever a song was too fun for me, again on a whim. I only did these two things, on a whim. Nothing changed. No shape, no weight, nothing. And because my daily life would have stuff going on I didn’t really think about gymming, dieting, food, my body and all the associated thoughts.
You Always Get What You Belief System Can Accept
And then May 2016 arrived. About 2 days before my birthday I was down with some fever and a bit of a sore throat. I assumed I caught the flu and so I took some flu medication to get me going. I didn’t fuss about it much. The birthday arrived. I was having dinner with my boyfriend and I suddenly felt this odd sting on my neck and back, as if a bee bit me. When we finished dinner and were about to head home, my boyfriend noticed I had some bumps or zits on my neck and chest. I asked him to have a look at my back because I felt the “zit” was itching and stinging mildly–and he did.
We didn’t go home. We went to a nearby hospital at around 12:30 am. My birthday was over. But the change I had thought about just began. The doctor diagnosed me with a mild case of Chicken fucking Pox! Chicken Pox? Me? How? Why? From where? And what about the vaccine I had received as a child? And why at the age of 22?
What followed the next 10-12 days of May 2016 was I came down with a very mild case go Chicken Pox that actively lasted for 4-5 days. The fever, rashes, loss of appetite, headaches, stomachaches, feeling yuck all made me loose 17 pounds. I reached my goal weight “by hook or crook”. It was uncomfortable but I created it.
What Are the Key Takeaways?
This is how I lost the “extra weight” that I was never able to accept or appreciate about me. If it matters I was 137 lbs and after this “manifestation” I became 120 lbs. The key here is to realize one can have whatever they want. You just have to want it. And so, I am not saying everyone has to manifest some sickness in order to lose weight. It’s not even about losing weight. Some of us want to gain weight, some of us are happy with the weight but may want a different shape. Some of us don’t even think about weight. The main idea here is to challenge the belief system a mind holds (your mind) about something we are taught to believe is the ultimate reality (the physical; body, matter, situations etc).
But I repose the question And what is reality anyway? To answer that for yourself ask yourself How do I feel about my reality? And most importantly what do I consider my reality? For some minds a diet might be the path of least resistance because it makes sense to them. For some it could be exercising. For some it could be relying on others. So talk to yourself and understand how your thoughts make you feel about a subject. Make a choice; with a decision/approach/method, with any decision/approach/method and move forward peacefully with it. And always remember to just let it be. Obsess over it and just let it be. The Universe will take care of it from there.
If you’d like my help in reaching any body goals, please feel free book a 1:1 coaching session!